Cash's Birthday

In August of 2015 we lost our sweet sweet Cash.  It's been so tough without him here with us.  The end of 2015 just seemed to be a blur of trying to be "normal" and get on with life.  I've done my best to recount Cash's story on his own blog.  It's been very emotional for all of us in our own ways.  

Since the end of 2015 was a jumble, I may as well record it like I remember!  

Cash's Birthday was December 9th.  We decided to do a dinner with our friends and family at Jaime's house.  Everyone brought gifts to fill up this tote.  We bought another 70 items to completely fill the tote and decided it would be fun to visit the Ronald McDonald House, and the Pediatric ICU in Boise, and donate them for the kids that visited there.  When we were there with Cash through his surgeries, and also when he was passing, both of these places were so very accommodating to our entire family.  Even though our kids only visited the Ronald McDonald house when Cash had his surgeries, they always made them feel so welcome and special.  They let them pick a toy out of the wagon in the hall, which was a very special memory for them and me.  In the PICU when we were saying goodbye to Cash, EVERYONE there went above and beyond to help with Addison and Brogan.  They brought them things to do, snacks to eat, toys to play with.  They never once shushed us, or limited the amount of visitors we had in Cash's room.  Even late at night when Addison and Brogan should have been in bed, but were instead being rambunctious with their brother, they were always so loving and kind.  I will never forget that, and will never be able to let them know how grateful I was for them.  

Our tote full of toys to donate! 

At the Ronald McDonald house.  Sure wasn't the same to be there without our Cashie. 

As we went into the Ronald McDonald House and the hospital, it started to snow.  Addison said, "Hey Mom, I think Cashie is with us, he sent the snow!"  I truly think he was with us that day.  (Everytime we had a Boise appointment, it seemed to snow on our way up.  This was no different!) 

After making our deliveries we headed to Joe's Crab Shack for lunch.  The kids enjoyed the seafood, and watching the ducks on the river.

MMM Good. 

Two handsome boys!

Cheese!

The kids wanted to go to Jump Time for Cash's birthday too.  We planned a big fun outting with all of our friends to jump time.  When we got to twin we found that Jump time was closed!!  So we decided to head bowling instead.  We had so many of our fun friends and cousins there to celebrate with us!

First Day of School 2015

 This year Addison started Kindergarten at GES, and Brogan started Pre-school at Little Steps Preschool with Angela Miller.  Addison had Mrs. Born and Ms. Sherri Williams, both whom she loved! It was a weird way to start the school year.  The kids both missed almost the whole week because it was the same week as Cash's funeral (of which I'll post on his blog).  Their cousins were all here from Texas and we spent the week getting ready for the funeral and hanging out with family.

Last year I did preschool with Addison, Weston, Brogan and Paisley when I watched them.  Addison, Weston and Paisley loved preschool and did everything I asked them to do each day.  Brogan on the other hand did NOT love the concept of sitting and even when I made it fun, he chose not to participate a lot.  Addison always loved the idea of "homework" and working on school type activities, but Brogan didn't.  I was a little nervous that he wouldn't want to go to preschool, or be do it at home with me either.  When Cash died, Brogan took it the hardest out of all of us.  he just didn't understand any of it.  He was upset a lot.  Although we were very honest and open with both of the kids on what and how it happened, Brogan had feelings that he couldn't express to us.  They often came out in anger or acting out.  Addison developed such a faith that this was Heavenly Father's plan, and that Cash was still living in Heaven.  Brogan "didn't like Heavenly Father for taking his brother from him".  He just couldn't comprehend an eternal plan.  We went to a family therapist, who agreed that Brogan could use some counseling.  He recommended a few '"play therapists" who work with kids in a fun way to help them understand their feelings.  Brogan wasn't thrilled with the idea of going.  We asked him what he wanted to do.  He told us he wanted to go to preschool with his buddy Cade.  So we signed him up for preschool and waited.  The results were amazing.  I'm not sure if it was just having an outlet, lots of social interaction with other kids his age, or his amazing teacher taking such special care of him, but we started to see a huge change in Brogan, very quickly.  After a few weeks of school he LOVED anything "homework" or "learning" related.  He wanted me to print him out "homework" and talk all about his days at school.  He was able to express himself and understand things better, little by little.  It's been amazing to see how far Brogan has come, and to see his faith in his Heavenly Father is something else.

  I'm so proud of both Addison and Brogan.  They have wisdom beyond their young little lives.  They talk about Cash every day, and they truly believe in the plan of salvation, and that they'll see him again.  They often ask when Jesus is coming, so they can be with their baby brother.  When they find beauty in nature, or a beautiful sunset, they say things like, "Look Mom, Cash and Jesus are painting!"  They love to visit his grave and take him toys he can play with.  They write him notes, talk about him to strangers, and keep him alive in their hearts.  I'm so proud of them.

Disney 2015 Day 4- Last day at Disneyland

Our last day at Disneyland was a good one.  Seems like we were able to take things a little slower,enjoy being there a little more, and enjoy our kids a little more (probably because they were so rested)

 Meeting Mickey Mouse!

 We met a ton of Characters on our last day (that was sort of Stewart's mission this particular day)
Cinderella

 Sleeping Beauty

 Belle

 Rapunzel

 Anytime there was a little stream of water, or ducks or birds anywhere, Cash LOVED to stop and see them.  He really just took in the little things all the time.

 Merida

 We watched, yet another Frozen show.  The kids got to sit on pillows up in the front and we got stuck on backless benches.  yay.  Cash took a nice little nap with Grandma.

 They got to meet this prince and get his autograph (although I can't remember his name- he was a funny character in the play!)

 Queen Elsa herself!  It was the cutest thing- we rode on thunder mountain and as we got off the ride a teenage kid was waiting and would be in our seats.  As he got into the car he said so genuinely, "I get to sit where Queen Elsa sat?!"  Addison just beamed.

 The kids loved toon town! They played in Donald Duck's ship, Mickey's house and all over the town.

 Sitting in Mickey's chair.

 Addison and Cashie playing Mickey's piano

 checking the toon town mailbox!

 The animals were trapped!!

 Brogan tried SUPER hard to lift this, but try as he might, he just couldn't get it!

 The kids were super impressed with the Goofy Water (even though it tasted like crap) they filled up on it!

 Mickey Mouses' Mailbox!!!

 Grandma taking a break in Mickey's chair

 Cash loved toon town too.  Everything was toddler friendly :)

 Brogan taking a break in Pluto's bed

 Mickey's garden is oh so magical!! things just grow on their own!

 The kids had fun exploring the Chipmunk treehouse.

 They even tried to pull the sword out of the stone!

 At the end of the day I was getting a little HANGRY.  I'd been seeing these turkey legs the past couple days, but couldn't ever bring myself to spend the nine bucks it cost to get one.  Well, when Mom gets hangry, you pay whatever price it costs to fix it ;)  I ate the whole thing (I did end up sharing with the kids a little) and it was delicious.  My only regret is that I didn't eat these the whole time I was there!

 Me and Brogan waiting for the parade

 Me and Cashie waiting for the parade.

 I'm so thankful Grandma went on this trip with us.  There were so many times we seemed to be chasing kids, or dumping jam into a paper cup (because they don't allow glass jars into the park) that I was glad I wasn't there trying to manage it on my own.  Don't get me wrong, Stewart is a great helper, but he just has a shorter fuse than Grandma ;)  I'm so thankful to have her as such a great mom, and my kids ADORE her as their "Grammie" (as Addison has so affectionately nicknamed her)

 Cash was the hit of the pre parade.  He walked up and down Main street disney with this determined look on his face, just waving to everyone who looked like they needed a good wave.  He was so cute and sweet.

 Love this little Cashie boy and I'm so glad we got the chance to take him to Disneyland with us.  Even though he didn't like it all at first, he enjoyed himself the whole time, didn't throw any major fits, and was the best behaved little toddler you ever did see!  Love you Cash!