Last year I did preschool with Addison, Weston, Brogan and Paisley when I watched them. Addison, Weston and Paisley loved preschool and did everything I asked them to do each day. Brogan on the other hand did NOT love the concept of sitting and even when I made it fun, he chose not to participate a lot. Addison always loved the idea of "homework" and working on school type activities, but Brogan didn't. I was a little nervous that he wouldn't want to go to preschool, or be do it at home with me either. When Cash died, Brogan took it the hardest out of all of us. he just didn't understand any of it. He was upset a lot. Although we were very honest and open with both of the kids on what and how it happened, Brogan had feelings that he couldn't express to us. They often came out in anger or acting out. Addison developed such a faith that this was Heavenly Father's plan, and that Cash was still living in Heaven. Brogan "didn't like Heavenly Father for taking his brother from him". He just couldn't comprehend an eternal plan. We went to a family therapist, who agreed that Brogan could use some counseling. He recommended a few '"play therapists" who work with kids in a fun way to help them understand their feelings. Brogan wasn't thrilled with the idea of going. We asked him what he wanted to do. He told us he wanted to go to preschool with his buddy Cade. So we signed him up for preschool and waited. The results were amazing. I'm not sure if it was just having an outlet, lots of social interaction with other kids his age, or his amazing teacher taking such special care of him, but we started to see a huge change in Brogan, very quickly. After a few weeks of school he LOVED anything "homework" or "learning" related. He wanted me to print him out "homework" and talk all about his days at school. He was able to express himself and understand things better, little by little. It's been amazing to see how far Brogan has come, and to see his faith in his Heavenly Father is something else.
I'm so proud of both Addison and Brogan. They have wisdom beyond their young little lives. They talk about Cash every day, and they truly believe in the plan of salvation, and that they'll see him again. They often ask when Jesus is coming, so they can be with their baby brother. When they find beauty in nature, or a beautiful sunset, they say things like, "Look Mom, Cash and Jesus are painting!" They love to visit his grave and take him toys he can play with. They write him notes, talk about him to strangers, and keep him alive in their hearts. I'm so proud of them.